Некто взломал твиттер Алексея Навального. Об этом сообщают федеральные новости. Следственный комитет отрицает свою причастность к взлому твиттера Навального. О случившемся доложено президенту.
Ну, президенту, может, и не доложено. Но ведь может быть и доложено! Потому что если взлом твиттера Навального комментирует официальный представитель Следственного комитета — то можно предположить уже всё, что угодно.
Между тем площадь нашей страны — больше семнадцати миллионов квадратных километров. Миллионов! Протяженность нашей границы — шестьдесят тысяч километров. Это в полтора раза больше, чем длина окружности Земли. У нас восьмое в мире население и шестой объем ВВП.
Да что там — нашей государственности больше тысячи лет.
И вот эта вот колоссальная страна, ядерно-космическая, с великой литературой и что там еще — вот эта вот супер-мега-страна на официальном уровне комментирует взлом твиттера Алексея Навального.
Или вот, например, «Серебряная калоша». Капустник, устраиваемый небольшим радио с долей в районе двух. Рейтинг этого радио где-то между радио «Максимум» и радио «Монте-Карло». Ну то есть этого радио, по большому счету, вообще нет. Его в масштабах страны практически никто не слушает (накопленная суточная аудитория — четыреста с небольшим тысяч человек).
И вот это радио делает свой капустник, который транслируется только в интернете. Ну вот мы с вами могли бы устроить такой же капустник и транслировать его в интернете — такого же масштаба было бы событие.
В ходе капустника Патриарху присуждают калошу за исчезнувшие часы. И мы могли бы присудить премию папе римскому, например. Вот только папа на нас с вами внимания бы не обратил.
А Русская православная церковь на калошу не просто внимание обратила — а выступила с официальным заявлением. Оскорбила, говорит протоиерей Чаплин, ваша калоша каждого православного человека.
Русская православная церковь существует почти шестьсот лет. Юрисдикция на территории пятнадцати стран. Тридцать тысяч приходов, почти тысяча монастырей. И этот вот могучий институт с колоссальной историей официально комментирует мероприятие заштатной радиостанции. И он же борется всей своей мощью с тремя молодыми дурочкам, исполнившими танец на солее.
Певец Тимати в таких случая говорит: алё, вы берега-то не спутали? Где Патриарх — а где калоша? Где РПЦ — а где Pussy Riot? Где Следственный комитет — а где блогер Навальный?
Но подобное искривление пространства в последнее время стало каким-то общепринятым. Каким-то нестыдным стало совсем. Каким-то нормальным. И поневоле начинаешь понимать Александра Андреевича Проханова с его тоской по огромным проектам, по Днепрогэсам и полетам на Марс. А он приходит в эфир радио, скажем, «Эхо Москвы», и милейшая ведущая с ангельским голосом спрашивает у него: «Александр Андреевич, а что вы думаете по-поводу взлома твиттера Алексея Навального?»
Ну только представьте. Скажем, сталевар в Челябинске варит сталь. К нему прибегает взволнованный бригадир. «Слышал, Дулин, дела-то какие!» «Что случилось?!» «Твиттер Навального взломали!»
Или, например, Путин молится у Стены плача. В нему подходит строгий раввин. «У вас в стране таки большая беда, господин президент». Путин бледнеет. Подводная лодка? Теракт? Революция?! «Твиттер Навального взломан.»
Вечер. Программа «Время». Катя Андреева в строгих одеждах. Смотрит не мигая в экран. «Здравствуйте. Взломан твиттер Алексея Навального. Президенту уже сообщили. А теперь к другим новостям».
В самые удаленные уголки страны летит тревожная весть. На арктические станции. На горные бараньи пастбища. В глухомань тверских деревень. В вятские леса. В степи донские. Плывет пароход по реке, скажем, Лена. «Вставайте, люди русские» — несется из мегафона, — «Твиттер Навального взломан!» Взволнованно всматриваются в поверхность Земли китайские тайконавты. Где-то там, внизу, взломан твиттер Алексея Навального!
И мир уже никогда не будет таким, как был раньше.
Ну как, представляете? Нет?
Хорошо, вот это вот, например, легче представить. Отдаленный сельский приход. Старый батюшка в разрушенном советами храме и все восемь его прихожанок. Облезшие стены, обвалившаяся колокольня. Но на полу чисто, и кое-как сооружена новая алтарная часть.
«Богородица, калошу прогони!» — поет батюшка, размахивая кадилом. «Прогони, прогони!» — поют прихожанки и крестятся.
Да, в это значительно проще поверить.
Вот только легче от этого не становится.
ВЗГЛЯД
{ 1773 comments… read them below or add one }
Мудак ты, Максим.
Да не, Иннокентий, показалось тебе. Глицину выпей, малыш, и все уляжется в головушке. Обещаю.
No more s***. All posts of this qualtiy from now on
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Оч правильно, Максим, оч правильно. Солидарен со всем сказанным.
Представляю
«Сайт idiot.fm взломан. Президент лично взял под контроль .Объявлена всеобщая мобилизация »
Как страшно жыть.
It’s about time seoomne wrote about this.
Ya learn someihtng new everyday. It’s true I guess!
я не знаю, почему именно Навальный выбран символом свободы,
за пролетарскую фамилию наверное,
но стоп, если бы вы сделали капустник в Риме, и что то там присудили папе римскому — это был бы совсем другой разговор, наверное
Путин молится у Стены плача — это удивительный художественный образ,
в черной шляпе, инкогнито, много позже
This forum neeedd shaking up and you’ve just done that. Great post!
Grade A stuff. I’m unuqesitonably in your debt.
Хорошо, очень хорошо.
хуйльник. ебальник. анальник
That’s the thinking of a ceairtve mind
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